DAY EIGHT: The Pauper Gets Turned On
There's a reason why an illuminated light bulb universally represents an idea. Don't believe me? Type "idea" into Google and search images.
If there is a more apt representation of emerging from the darkness of a quandary or conundrum, mankind has yet to touch upon it. And though I will try not to over-generalize for the masses, I can personally attest wholeheartedly to the fact that there has been no deeper, darker pit of despair in my 26 years than figuring out why the hell I've been put on this sodding rock.
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| This guy is especially enlightened. |
And this week, I managed to find the switch in my labyrinthine brain.
It's not like it hasn't been on my radar. I have spent the better part of my life fantasizing about being an actress. Hell, I even fantasized myself into an Academy Award win at the tender age of seven (take that, Tatum O'Neal!)
But I after a certain point - some time in college when a paralyzing audition shattered my confidence - I figured I just wasn't cut from the same cloth as the people who "make it". So I shunted out those ludicrous notions of following my dreams.
And then in post-college, 2009 economy boom crash, I materialized a new dream: make just enough money to support myself; working at a job where it feels like lampreys have latched onto my innermost desires. Tedium for everyone! Huzzah!
But this week, I found the switch. And I turned it on.
During an exercise in my improv class, my teacher told us to clear our thoughts. That in order to be creative, we need to remove the roadblocks in our minds. And on September 3, 2013, I removed the giant redwood that plummeted onto the corner of Serotonin and Synaptic Vesicle shortly after that disastrous collegiate audition. And I realized that I don't have to settle for tedium. Nobody does. Why should I believe that I can't "make it?"
There's no way to know for sure if I get to travel down the path I've dreamed of: writing, performing, being generally kick ass. But I'm going to fight like hell. The light's finally turned on. Now it's going to be a lot easier to navigate this labyrinth.
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| We'll see about that, Williams. We'll just see about that. |
