All Aboard at Anticipation Station

DAY SEVENTEEN: The Pauper Gets Butterflies

It's been a lot of big girl talk of late.  Don't get me wrong, it's been feeling amazing to finally talk like a big girl, but as the countdown to my last day of work nears, the butterflies in my stomach start flapping harder and harder.  They've emerged from their cocoons like an angry Mothra.

With possibilities on the horizon, a vacation booked, a wedding to attend, a Fiona Apple to see; I certainly have a lot to keep me busy in October.  But October isn't really the concern.  If I was concerned about my savings within my first month of unemployment, then I probably would not have been able to venture down this path.  But the cold stink of November and beyond is what has me worried.

Not surprisingly, things at work have gotten much more tolerable since I told them there's really no reason to scold me anymore for things that aren't my fault because, hey, I'm throwing up my two finger salute and peacing out.  It's almost enough to make me think that maybe I could just stick it out until I find something that pays me to be creative.  But then I look at the kind of work I've put out since my proclamation, and I know this is right.

It still doesn't change the fact that this time next week, I won't be getting my Sunday night jitters.  That feeling of impending doom lurking over most nine to fivers.  It doesn't change the fact that I won't be seeing the same people I've spent the majority of my past two and a half years with.  It doesn't change the fact that I still have punch cards at Freshii and Protein Bar that I haven't filled.  And damn it, I deserve my free South Acai'd smoothie!

The thing about routine is most people need to break it up at one point or another.  Interrupt the drudgery of the every day.  Because otherwise we might as well just be real life extras on The Walking Dead.  But the reason we stick to routine is because of the comfort it offers us.  The knowledge that even though things may not get much better, they still won't get worse.  It's a security blanket that most people can't give up.  And I'm just thankful that I realized ignoring my passions is actually my rock bottom.

I didn't include any pictures.  So instead I just Googled "dog on a motorcycle."
For the more visual readers.